Love might have gotten you married to your spouse but it certainly takes more than love to sustain a home. One of the keys to sustaining a home is wisdom; Proverbs 24:3 (King James Version) says ‘Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:’
The Secret Place Wife is one vessel God has given the assignment of teaching others to do marriage God’s way. Please make welcome today’s guest, Mrs Olabisi Ola-Soetan (also known as) ‘the Secret Place Wife’ (SPW)
1nebody: It’s so great to have you. First, that name is very fascinating. How did you come about it?
SPW: (laughs) It really is. Well, when I had a leading to start the page, I was trusting God for what to call it. My first impression was to call it godlywivesng since the idea was to raise more women to do marriage God’s way. However, I did not feel at peace with the name, I kept editing and changing it. Then, in one of my meditations, the Lord spoke to me about the secret place and how most of the issues in my own marriage were resolved there. I realized prayer and a relationship with the Holy Spirit is what characterizes the Secret Place. So it made sense that wives who must build according to God’s pattern must know where to meet Him for instructions.
1nebody: That’s so profound. You mentioned you were led to start the page?
SPW: I had always been a marriage counsellor/coach and I was building a career around it already. But I wasn’t putting it online. It was much later that I was led to start an online page where I was to share things as inspired by the Holy Spirit.
1nebody: The inspiration of the Holy Spirit is so key. How did you get the online page started?
SPW: (laughs) Actually, I started off by writing down all God was speaking to me about my marriage and how He had been helping me understand and love better. I kept writing until I could no longer stall the Lord (laughs). It was at this point that I created the page Secret place wives
1nebody: Trying to stall the Lord (laughs) it is really funny how many of us are victims of this, how long did yours last though?
SPW: For close to two years. I think the online platform was impressed in my heart in 2015 but I did not start until last year, precisely October 2017.
1nebody: Wow, you are less than a year? It feels like you have been around for longer.
SPW: Really? Thank God for that.
1nebody: You mentioned that you were building a career around being a marriage coach before God asked you to do this?
SPW: Oh, yes. I was also a teacher until I resigned last year. I am currently a full time marriage coach.
1nebody: I like the sound of that. What’s your experience been since you started full time?
SPW: It’s been great. Many people are not exactly open (yet) to the idea of talking to someone let alone paying for it. But it’s been such a fulfilling journey seeing more people embrace it. Just from the general tips I share, I get lots of testimonies. Honestly, it’s been amazing learning together with many wives.
1nebody: I thought you are the expert here. Why learn with other wives?
SPW: (laughs) There is no expertise in marriage. If I wasn’t married, I could still dispense my knowledge and help many wives but because I am married, my case becomes like a pregnant doctor who would also need another doctor. That said, I also need the wisdom I share. Also, because I built the page on my vulnerability to share my struggles, mistakes and victories. Of course, there are standard principles that all of our marital experiences follow but I prefer to share more from my experiences.
1nebody: Could we discuss your target audience?
SPW: The vision is for wives but of course that could also include wives to be.
1nebody: How about unmarried ladies who have children?
SPW: (laughs) You know several people have asked me to include them but my response is that they aren’t excluded. So, if an unmarried lady with children is looking to get married and live with a man someday, then she could be categorized as a ‘wife’ and yes she is included.
1nebody: We could sum it up as being all-inclusive then but how about the males?
SPW: (laughs) We (actually my husband) recently started Secret place husbands for men. That covers them.
1nebody: Super! So, yours is a family sharing God’s light on building Godly homes. Would you say you both are perfect examples of a Christian family?
SPW: I would say we are daily working towards perfection. It’s a goal because God said we should walk before Him and be perfect. So we work towards it daily.
1nebody: I like that. Let’s talk about your services. How can one access counselling services?
SPW: I offer individual and couple counselling sessions. I also have monthly coaching packages for wives. You can book for any of these through my page
1nebody: What is the financial implication for each package?
SPW: I need to say it’s not all about the money. I also give out loads of free sessions, through whatsapp chat, dm or a phone call. The most important thing is that a wife gets help when she needs it. Money should never get in the way of that. That said, an individual session costs N10,000, a couple’s session costs N15,000 while a month’s coaching for an individual costs N50,000.
1nebody: That’s a profound quote right there. ‘Money should never get in the way of a wife that needs help (SPW, 2018)
1nebody: What impact would you say your sessions have on people’s marriages. Are you able to quantify this?
SPW: Hmmm…I see more wives deciding to trust the Holy Spirit on their marital journey. I see more wives learning patience and understanding that marriage is an institution that takes work to build. I see wives daily sharing testimonies of submission, respect and a new found love.
1nebody: Undoubtedly people’s lives have been changed, thank God. As we wrap up, 1nebody is about promoting the several parts that make up the body of Christ. If you are to relate SPW’s activities to a particular body part what would it be and why?
SPW: First, all body parts are equally important and SPW’s activities could be related to any of these parts. However, if I am to mention a particular one, I would say ‘the eye’. It’s said that the eye is the king of body parts. Marriage is at the heart of society and the very structure that holds society together. Also, women have been designed to nurture, it is intrinsic for us to act as the glue that hold our families together. So, catering to women and providing them with support is a very important duty and I am happy to serve in this capacity.
1nebody: I wish we could continue. It’s been such an insightful session. May the wisdom of God continually guide you as you counsel others. God bless you!
SPW: Amen! Thank you for this opportunity too.